Posted by G. Lucas I liked the idea of your story and it seems like you've had some fun. But just a word of advice, write them more like stories and not like you're just remembering them and writing them down. Trust me people on this site love stories they can enjoy. If you want you can check out some of my stories (which are only stories) and see what I mean. If you can't remember then make it up or exaggerate. Make them based on a true story type things and you'll get good ratings all over the place. Have fun, G. Lucas.
Posted by Felicia I liked it overall. This reads like a woman writing from personal experience, though I make no preumptions there. It is simply a compliment. Still, it might be better if it flowed better, which is really what G. Lucas was saying, too. I occasionally wanted more details, such as the morning sessions. Some things there just didn't jive. My significant other finds me being on top to be incredibly sexy, and his reaction makes me enjoy it more than I would already. As you've written this part now, it comes off as too impersonal and one-sided to be believable. Look for the emotion in any character interaction. Maybe she'd just rather he take control--well make that clear. Try to pace the story better. The first few opening paragraphs about wanting to avoid hardcore bdsm, for example, could be summed up in just one or two sentences. Start the story where it really starts, which in my thinking is at the point that the character is driving to the man's house. Her uncertainty is a good emotional hook. Oh, and give the guy a name, too. Giving him a letter seems very old-fashioned to me for some reason, like I'm reading Charlotte Bronte or something.
Posted by pravin harry Very nice story, thanks a lot
Posted by pravin harry Very nice story, thanks a lot
Posted by derek wished this marielle girl made house calls would love a maid for a day myself how to get in touch with her is she married would have the perfect outfit for her to wear