Betty Bukkake

Then my beloved - I am still not used to that, I'm not sure it is any better than "Sickman" - any way, my beloved Sickman said loudly enough to stop all conversation in the room, "Betty, never mind with the fucking cookies. Why don't you have a seat and offer these guys some blowjobs?"

They all laughed, probably because they were thinking the same thing, but it got me flustered. It is hard to shift gears like that. One minute I am trying to be a good hostess and the next I am ... oh, I don't know what I was supposed to be, but all I was was flustered. I sat down as I had been told and then looked at them all. All those men staring back at me, waiting to stick their cocks in my mouth. It was very intimidating. But everyone seemed to be waiting for me to ask for it as I had been told. So what else could I do?

"Would any one care for a blowjob?", I asked, just as I had been asking about the cookies.

They thought this was very funny but then a guy just stepped up in front of me and pulled out his cock and stuck it in my face. So I sucked it. At least it was something I know, something I could lose myself in. I did it all for him, I licked his balls and made sure I made it nice and sloppy.

Oh, I should mention that Friday night, my darling made me practice sucking cock on a zucchini telling me all the things that make a good blowjob and he said that making it sloppy was important for looks. He also said that unless there is a reason to hurry, I should always try to make it last, so I did that this time.

Anyway, pretty soon it was just me and that cock and I felt totally slutty sitting there in my Sunday best in my arm chair sucking the cock of some guy I had never met while a room full of other guys watched and made comments. When he was ready to cum, he pulled out and blasted me right between the eyes. I did not even have a moment to clear the cum from my right eye before someone else had stepped up to take his place, standing over me, pulling my head onto his stiff cock.

I won't go through it all, but they kept coming, and cumming, until I was completely covered. My love says I sucked his cock, but I never realized it. The funny thing is, that is the only time I have ever had sex with him.

At one point my darling told me to show everyone how smooth I had shaved my cunt and what a horny little cunt I was, getting all wet when men came on me. Well by that time I didn't care, so I spread my legs and pulled up my skirt with my free hand and pulled my panties out of the way so they could all see my pussy which my beloved had made me shave last night. I feel silly having a bare pussy, like I am trying to be a little girl or something. But I showed them all and then started rubbing myself, not caring who saw. God, I was SO horny! I came with some guy halfway down my throat and then just kept cumming when he pulled out and started squirting on me. God, I am getting horny again just remembering.

Anyway, it was wonderful. I think it was the most...I can't even think what it was. It is like something stronger than the strongest liquor, like music that is way too loud but it still isn't loud enough. Oh, I don't know. It was just so intense. I was shaking it was so intense. All those men using me and cumming on me like a filthy cumslut, laughing at me and all I wanted was more. I wanted them to laugh more. To cum more. To be more of them. God, I don't know what I wanted. Just more.

And I still do. Soon. My darling says he will set up a "little something" for later in the week, and then something big on the weekend, but I don't want to wait.

Mind you, I have a job interview tomorrow morning. Not with the owner of the store but with one of his friends. I went in to see the owner again on Friday and after I had swallowed his sperm he told me that one of the store's suppliers might be willing to give a job to a woman of my qualifications... I can pretty well guess what THAT means, can't I. I had that same feeling of being forced that I had during the first interview but now that I have had some time to think about it, it could be really, well, really dirty. The more I think about it, the more I am looking forward to the interview. My darling says that if they need a good cocksucker for the job then the job is mine and I no matter what they offer me, I should ask for more. I don't know if I can; I am not really good at that sort of thing. He says that whoever I interview with obviously is looking for what I have to offer and will gladly spend the company's tax deductible money to get it. I'll see.

Anyway, my darling says he has a little treat for me before I start cleaning everything up so I am going to go now.

Betty

From: Betty
Date: Wed Jun 27, 2001 3:07 pm
Subject: I got a job!

Hi I have a new job! I start on Monday. Hopefully that will get life back to, well, it certainly won't be back to "normal", but at least it will be less crazy than it has been. My darling as been making dates for me and has arranged another party for this weekend. God, its crazy. I feel like I have cocks coming at me from every direction. Dates, parties, job interviews. I'm not sure where to even start. I guess with what happened after that last party.

Remember that last time I was writing I was still all slimey from the party and wanting more? Well my darling - calling him that seems more natural now - my darling gave me more. He tied me to a chair! I was really nervous at first. I've never been tied up before and I was afraid of what he could do to me when I was defenseless. But I kind of liked that feeling too, you know; it was exciting. Anyways, he tied me to one of the dining room chairs in front of the TV using a bunch of my pantyhose, still in my stained peach suit. Then he started fooling around with some equipment beside the VCR and suddenly I was watching myself sitting in my armchair surrounded by men, while I sucked somebody's cock. He had taped it! That really scared me because I was afraid of who he could show it to. Maybe he could blackmail me. But then I realized that everybody already knows.

Anyways, it started getting me excited but I could not touch myself. He asked me if I would like to masturbate, and I know its crazy, but I could not tell him "yes". I mean, we were both watching me furiously rubbing myself on the TV with men cumming all over me, but I felt shy about asking. I don't understand myself sometimes.

He got the kitchen scissors and cut the skirt of my suit up the front. At first I got upset until I realized that it was totally ruined anyway. Then he pulled my panties down around my calves. They could not come off because my ankles were tied to the chair legs. Then he a tied a pair of pantyhose around each knee and tied them back so my knees were spread wide and then he tied another pair around my neck and used it to hang a zucchini right at the level of my pussy. Just hanging there. If I moved my hips around it would bounce around a little which only made me more frustrated. But I couldn't stop myself either. The more I bounced around in the chair, the more frustrated I got that it wasn't enough. He was laughing at me. Which really made me realize how stupid and pathetic I looked, humping that stupid, cold zucchini like a horny slut.

I looked up at him, hoping he would give me relief, but he just smirked back and asked "something wrong?".

"I'm horny!" I told him.

"And?"

"And I want to cum!"

"Beg me. And be specific."

So I tried. I told him I wanted to cum. I asked him to just touch my pussy. Or let me touch myself. Or push the zucchini a little harder. Please.

He said that that was a pathetic attempt, that I should not think about myself all the time but more about what I could do for other people and maybe I should just watch the video and take some time to think about what I should ask for and how I should ask. Then he left the room.

On the TV I was grunting and begging for more cock. I was a little shocked to hear all the things I had said. God, I still can't believe how disgusting I was and it was disturbing to watch myself. But it kept me turned on, too. I would keep humping the zucchini until I was so frustrated that I was almost in tears. Then I would give up. But soon the video would have me doing it again anyways. It was awful. And wonderful, too, you know?

'What did he want?' I asked myself. I should "think more of others"... So maybe if I offered to do something for him...

"Please, darling, let me suck your cock", I called out. God, it wasn't even hard to say that!

But he said "No thanks" he called from the bedroom or the bathroom, as if I had offered him a cup of coffee.

So I said "Please, I'll do anything".

Nothing.

A short while later he came back and said "Anything...? Okay, amuse me. Tell me who you are and what you are and what you want and how you feel and what you'll do for me. But make it nasty. The nastier the better. I want to hear you insult yourself."

I couldn't. I kept trying to figure out how to start, but I couldn't. So we sat in silence with me on the TV becoming more and more covered with sperm. The men who had already cum were standing around me jerking off as they watched, stepping up to cum on me whenever they were ready again. My face was covered. Dripping. I was crying but I kept asking for more.

And then that got me so turned on that I was bouncing that stupid zucchini again, in tears there too, but of frustration.

"Please!" I begged

"Are you horny?"

"YES!"

"Then tell me"

"I'm horny!"

"Are you a slut?"

"Yes!"

"Are you a dirty cunt who desparately needs to jack off"

"Yes!"

"Do you feel disgusting? Perverted?"

"Yes!"

"Do you like having strange men cum all over you? Do you like being tied up and made to beg?"

"Yes!" It was true. I loved this.

"Then TELL me!"

And I did. I said all those things and more. I just kept saying them and everything I could think of. I told him I felt pathetic and stupid. I told him that I liked it when the men had laughed at me and that I had wanted them to laugh more. I told him I would do anything for just a little more cum. God, I don't remember what all I said, which is probably for the best.

After he had had a good laugh at my begging he said I had been such a good little cunt that if I would promise to tell all that to some friends of his I would earn one last taste of sperm if I wanted it.

So I promised. And I thanked him! God, I felt so GRATEFUL to him for letting me have just a little bit more! I am so sick.

He brought out one of the saucers from my tea set and it had a little puddle of yellowy sperm on it. "Mmm, doesn't that look tasty?" he asked.

It did. I mean, it looked disgusting, all runny and thoroughly gross when I think of it, but at the time I wanted it. I wanted it BECAUSE it was disgusting. And I wanted it because it was his and he had not even let me suck his cock for it. I don't understand why he doesn't let me do it for him, but it is starting to bug me. Am I not good enough to suck his cock?, I wondered, and that just made me want what it even more.

He looked like he was expecting an answer so I nodded, but that wasn't enough. So I forced myself to say "Yes, it looks very tasty. Please, darling, may I have it?"

He scooped a bit up with one of my good teaspoons and held it in above and in front me. I moved toward it but he pulled back until it was just out of reach.

"Stick out your tongue and beg me" he said.

I must have looked like SUCH a retard with my tongue stuck out, whining "Pleathe" over and over until he finally let me have it. It was horrible. It was cold and runny and my stomach churned as I swallowed, but I still wanted more and ate every bit he fed me and then licked the plate when he held it up. It was sick! I am sick. I hate that I did all that stuff but I love it, too, and I know I would do it again and more. God, if this is my new life I, oh, I don't know what.

Anyway, he left after that and I spent the rest of the night cleaning up myself and the apartment.

Its funny, I don't know what I feel about him. He has been so nice to me and he seems to understand me better than I do. But the things he makes me do are so disgusting. I mean, I loved everything about Sunday, but it was just all so sick. I guess "Sickman" really does suit him after all. But what does that make me? "Cunt", I guess. Thats what he always calls me. And the thing is, I like it. It feels like he is calling me "Honey" or something. Except that I like that its an insult, too.

Calling him "Darling" and "My beloved" and stuff sounded so fake at first but it seems more natural now. Actually, I sort of mean it now. Okay, I guess I am starting to like him. I mean, I always liked him, but its starting to be more than just because he is nice and he is helping me. I have no idea if he likes me. I mean more than just as friends. He doesn't talk about that sort of thing. I don't think he does or he would not want to let other men use me. I don't know why he is being so nice to me. I just can't figure him out. I know he will be reading this, so its kind of weird, but I guess it is good that he knows how I feel.

Anyways, my darling called yesterday and told me that someone would be coming over to see me last night. Then, at about 4:30, the intercom buzzed and it was "Richie". He just came in and said that Sickman had said he could come over and that I would go and rent him some porno movies to watch. God, I paniced! Not only did that mean going into that store alone, but it meant WALKING to the mall during business hours where people could see. When I told "Richie" that I didn't want to, he said he had really been looking forward to it and that Sickman had told him to tell me that HE would be very disappointed if I didn't. I do not understand why I care so much about not dissapointing him, but when "Richie" said that, I knew I had to go.

It was aweful. I know I was bright red just walking along the sidewalk and through that parking lot. That was the first time I had been out since all this happened and I felt like everybody was staring at me. I don't even know if they were or not cause I kept my eyes on the pavement the whole time. I suppose that walking into that store should have made it even worse, but by that time I just figured anybody that recognized me would be thinking, "well of course she's going into an adult video store, isn't that what perverted women like her do?" I was just giving everyone just one more thing to talk about.

Anyway, I got into the store alright, and every guy in the place turned to look at me. And then I realized that I had no idea what to get. There were so many movies, all with naked women doing gross things and I didn't even know where to start. The guy behind the counter asked if he could help and I just said I wanted some movies. "adult movies?" he asked, "cause that's all we've got", and I told him yes. But then he wanted to know if there was anything in particular I was looking for I just said that they were not for me and that I didn't know and could he just pick a some that he thought were exciting. Then he wanted to know how many and I said two, but then I realized that maybe they would not think that was enough so I changed it to four and I could see all the guys smiling at me. I know I am supposed to enjoy humiliation and all, but I wasn't enjoying that. He picked four and I just said they would be fine without even looking at them and almost ran out of the store.

So then I spent the rest of the night sucking Richie's cock over and over while he watched the movies. All of them, but he was fast-forwarding through a lot by the end. He came four times!

He wants to spend the night on Friday, but I told him he would have to talk to Sickman. I really feel like a whore, letting my pimp make "dates" which aren't dates at all but appointments for free blowjobs. The thing is, I really did not find the evening with "Richie" that enjoyable. He got all the pleasure, I just felt like he was using me, like a masturbation machine. Its funny how sometimes it really turns me on and other times it just leaves me cold, used feeling. And I can't figure out what Sickman is trying to do. Why is he doing all this? Does he care whether I enjoy being Richie's sperm recepticle. Remember when I used to fantasize about that? And now I have it and I don't really like it.

And its only going to get worse. I had my job interview today and I got the job, but only because I said I would give the owner blowjobs every day. I don't even LIKE him! There is something about him that I didn't like as soon as I met him. His eyes are really cold, you know. I was pretty sure that I was going to have to suck cock to get the job; that seems to be the main reason anybody is helping me, but as soon as I saw the way he was looking at me, cold, sort of mean, I knew that it was the ONLY reason. I wanted to dissappear the way he looked at me, like he hated me. Then the very first thing the guy said to me was that he did not really need anybody and that he only agreed to see me because he had been told I had some VERY special talents and that since I was so desparate for a job he might consider hiring me if he thought it was worth his while...

Everybody is always so careful to never say what they mean. So I am always the one who has to offer. So I did. I told him I needed the job so badly that I would suck his cock for him.

He said "okay"

So I went around to his side of the desk and did it. It is getting easier, now.

I wasn't really enjoying it much, I think because I did not like him, so I thought I would masturbate a little, just to help me get into it. But the moment I bunched up my skirt and put my hand there he told me that he didn't care what I did when I was at home, but when I was at work, I am supposed to be working, not jerking myself off at his expense, so get back to work. I was embarassed that he had scolded me, but also it just told me I was right, I don't like him very much. But I finished it and swallowed his cum and then, since he didn't tell me what to do, went back and sat down again.

Then he asked me if I am willing to make that part of my job description. I expecting that, but it still hurt hearing the reality that I am being hired as a whore. But I said I would if the job paid well. He didn't like that, but my beloved had made me promise to say it; he said that blowjobs are worth $50 to $100 each and that if I had to do it once a day that I should be getting a least $7 if not $10 or $12 more per hour than I was getting at the store. That is really hard for me to do, though. It is easy for him to say to ask for more, but it made my stomach hurt to have to make myself do it. But I did it. When he asked me how much I was expecting to make, just like my beloved said he would, I just said "$20 an hour" just like I had been told to, knowing that he would never pay me that much. He laughed at me and said that I was only going to be an assistant Accounts Receivable clerk so there was NO WAY he was going to pay me that. I was so nervous that I think my voice was shaking, but I told him just what Sickman told me, that a whore would charge him $100 for that and she would not be paid out of the company's money. But he didn't laugh at me, he said he would pay me $16, which is way better than I was making at the store. I told him I had to check with my partner before I accepted any job and said I would call him.

Actually, I was hoping my beloved would tell me that I could try somewhere else, because I really do not want to work for that man, but when he called to see how the interview went he said I should not be an ungrateful little cocksucker and that if the guy would agree to $17 I should take it. So then I was hoping the guy would tell me I was being greedy and forget it, but instead he said I had a deal and that I can start Monday. Its kind of far away on transit, but in a way that's good because I won't meet anyone I know. The thing is, I don't know anything about accounts receivable, so I hope I can do it.

Anyway, my Love is coming over tonight so that "I can thank him", so I am not sure what that means, and then I am supposed to call the owner of the store to see if I can go in and thank him, too, and I KNOW what that means. But my love says that if this job does not work out I will be glad if I need to ask him for another favour.

I'll write later to tell you about the party on the weekend.

Betty

From: Betty
Date: Wed Jul 4, 2001 2:47 pm
Subject: I'm in trouble again

Hi everyone

I quit my new job today.

Yesterday was my first day at work and it was going fine until the boss called me into his office after lunch. He had that look again, like he hates me. No, its more like I disgust him. He kind of sneered like I was nothing but an offensive odour or something. And he said "Get to work" and pointed at his crotch. It was an order but it sounded like he hated me, too. At first I made it last for him but then he told me to "hurry the fuck up" and then when I was done and tried to fix my lipstick like I had last time, he asked me if his office looked like the ladies' room and told me to get out because he had work to do. But my face was all wet with saliva because my darling had told me that was what men think looks good. When I left, the other women in the office just stopped and stared at me and I knew that they could tell what I had been doing. I made it to the washroom and fixed my make-up, but it was very awkward after that. The A/R clerk that I work for was obviously upset. Then, this morning, he called me in about 9:30 and all the women in the office watched me go in and I just wanted to die. After that I just could not keep working in the same room with those women. I couldn't. I mean, they never said anything, but just the way they looked at me and each other when I came out of that office. I almost ran to the washroom and then I realized I had a big drip of sperm on my collar. It was SO obvious! I didn't know what to do. I just could not go in and face them agian. So I left.

Sickman is coming over tonight to talk about it, but I can't go back there. So now I'm unemployed again.

I really am not in the mood to tell about the party on Saturday, but people have been writing asking about it. I have been putting off writing about it because its such a huge job and I have been busy. I mean, the party went on for almost twelve hours and it is just taking too much time to write all this stuff, especially now that I am working again. Now I have nothing to do today but I don't feel like it. Anyway, I will tell you the basics and that will have to do. Basically, it was a totally disgusting experience from the very start. Guys started arriving at 10 in the morning. My beloved made it so it was far less about me giving blowjobs and more about humiliation. I guess when I told him last week that I wanted more he gave it to me. It all seemed to be about making them laugh at me. God, I don't even know where to start. He made me jog on the spot so they could laugh at my boobs bouncing around, he put a raw fish in my pussy, beans up my nose, wrote degrading things on my body and face with lipstick, they spit in my face, God, I don't really want to to even remember it all. I mean, I loved it at the time, even though I hated it, too, but now I would just rather forget it. At least until the party next weekend. But all day I was saying things. You know, like they would tell me what to say and I would say it. Gross, humiliating things about myself. I feel like I spent most of the day on the verge of tears, though I think I only cried a couple of times. When I did, they always asked if I wanted more and I don't know why, because I really was miserable a lot of the time, but I always wanted more. I just don't understand how I can want something that makes me feel so bad, but no matter how bad they made it, I still wanted it. Part of me really loved being treated like an animal, no, worse than an animal, being utterly degraded, humiliated and laughed at for hours and hours until I thought I was losing my mind.

And then there was the sperm! there was so much of it. And the rule was that I was not allowed to swallow any of it all day, but had to keep spitting it into a bowl. Then they would empty that into a bowl in the fridge which I was going to have to drink at 9:00 that night. At first they all came on my face. My love had made one of those spit-up dishes - you know the sort of kidney-shaped ones - so that he could put it on me like a necklace. Well, more like one of those collars that people wear for spinal injuries. Anyway, with that, guys kept jerking off on my face but it would just pour into the bowl. Sometimes they would feed me spoonfuls of it, but I had to spit it out again, anyways. After a while, though, they started cumming other places and making my lick it up. First it was on the floor and they seemed to like that as much as I disliked it. It was gross. But then some guy had to go one better and cum on a gross picture in one of "Richie"'s magazines and make me lick it off her. So then some guy came on the TV where the video of the first party was playing. But mostly it was either on my face or on the floor. The apartment was packed all day and then a bunch of guys came back at 9 to watch me eat it all. There was over half a litre of sperm! And I was supposed to eat the whole lot with a spoon. I mean, you know that I have a thing for eating sperm, but there was so much and it was so gross because it was old and mixed with everybody's spit and after even a quarter of it I wanted to throw up. But that was what they were all there for and I tried to keep going. But my stomach started wretching at the thought of more of the gross stuff and they kept telling me "more" until I was crying and telling them I was going to throw up. So finally my beloved said I could just "wallow" in the rest while I showed everybody how turned on it made me, so I smeared it all over myself while I masturbated, and that really turned me on. God, I felt so digusting bathing in sperm and jacking off in front of all those guys, and they kept spitting on me and sometimes cumming on me. It was another one of those times when I felt like I sort of disappeared and became nothing but... oh I don't know, I wish I knew why I enjoy things like that.

Anyway, I spent most of Sunday cleaning up as much as I could. My furniture is getting ruined.