Posted by Liz ok, i'll write here only cuz i read them both in one sitting. You are an absolutely AMAZING writer, and your stories cause a plethora of emotions to race through me every time i read one. the story rocked. 'nuf said. also, not only do i wonder about your stories related to your personal experiences, but also i am interested in what your characters say- and wonder which characters you "speak through," in a sense. Good job; i look forward to more.
Posted by brand new writer Hi, Liz. Thanks for the feedback. Well, I have just come out in a Third World country myself (not India, though), so, yeah, this story was pretty personal in the sense that I completely understood what the characters were going through. Being a liberal in a Third World country is slightly different from being a liberal in, say, the USA, because we get to see both perspectives -- that of tradition and that of modernity. As a liberal where I live, I get to see certain ground realities that people in Europe or the USA never would. These particular characters were based on some friends of mine, but there's a little bit of me in both Nadya and Avasa in this story. Admittedly, the roles were a bit stereotyped (butch/femme, dominant/submissive) but I did that on purpose because it sort of made sense in the context of the story -- Nadya was the really smart femme with an independent streak who was struggling to liberate herself in a traditional climate, and Avi was the witty, been-there-done-that girl who came to catalyse that liberation through sex, music and most of all, love. In case you're wondering, I have another story in the works. Probably less serious than this one, and hopefully kind of funny.
Posted by 122 hiii...
well i have read this story..this is a amazing story and i thought this is the best story i have ever read...and the thing which make this story more brilliant was talking abt the love...well i congratulate writer for writing such a brilliant story...she picked up a brilliant topic to write..and she succeeded to write a brilliant story..well i m looking to get more stories from her..the emotions in the story were brilliant..well i m sure the thoughts of the writer are the thoughts of the many other girls of the thord world country
Posted by LOVE DEAR WRITER..
HII..
THIS IS A AMAZING STORY.....U HAVE WRIITEN A MASTER PIECE...WELL THIS STORY IS FOR A MOVIE MAKING I THINK.....
THIS IS A AMAZING STORY.....U HAVE WRIITEN A MASTER PIECE...WELL THIS STORY IS FOR A MOVIE MAKING I THINK.....
WELL DONE..
Posted by oweirdo This is the kind of love story I love, in depth, yet with a very sexy undertone. I wanted to cry with and laugh with them. After reading both, I cant wait to hear more.
Posted by nad well this story has gained a great response..and it showed that it is not only sex that had to be exlpained,,love is a big thing too..in this story a great love has been expresses and i hope that the writer will continue to write stoty like this,which is close to real world....
Posted by insane lover very nice story...just let u know im a muslim and a les too but i never told anyone about it coz im scared of knowing wat others will think about me my parents would kill me or do sumthing crazy i dunt want to hurt them by letting them know that there daughter is a lez ..but well i like dis girl in my skool but i know she is straight so i didnt bother to tell her...i just keep my feelings to my self ...one i just told my sister about it she freaked out and told me i do sumthing stupid i like this she dunt wanna b my sister ne more...coz she hate gays/lez.. :( so i told her i was just kidding even though i wasnt, i was telling a truth about my life but ppl wont understand coz im a muslim n i have to do wat my parent would tell me to do..my life is just gr8!! ...
Posted by brand new writer Hey, insane lover. Hang in there. We're all going through something similar. I know a lot of Muslim lesbians. If you want, e-mail me personally and I can probably help you out a bit. There are online support groups you could join. Let me know if you want to talk or anything.
Posted by sum1 damm....brand new writer..dat's de best story i've ever read in my life..truely..u rilly kno u'r stuff....and i dun reed dat much 2 b onest....u got sum real talent...for a second..i was hopin dis story wud jus keep goin..lol'z..kno wat i mean?..can't wait 4 u'r nxt 1!
Posted by surfa ok new writer, seeing your our little resident theorpist, my prob and major but it's is really pissing me off- this guy has fallen in love with me (understandable) (lol)and i'm gay so i'm not intrested of course and somehow he found my mobile number which i share with my girl and sent all these SMS's and shit so now she thinks i'm cheating on her. she cries herself to sleep each night, won't let me touch her and won't talk to me. how do i get this guy to leave me alone and patch things up with my girl? thanks alot.
Posted by freedom hey, i know muslims have it rough and all, but they're not the only ones. I go to an all girls catholic school. 1500 bitchy, homophobic teenage girls who had all been raised with the belif 'what jesus didin't do is a sin'. my entire family is very, very catholic and if they knew about me they would disown me. One girl came out at my school once, she was beaten up every single day for a week then expelled. i just wanna say that we all go through similar things, no matter our background, belifs or religion, but together we can make it.
Posted by Jackie I'm thinking that only one could possibly ever sum this up.
Amazing.
Posted by ac hey new writer, in a lot of ways your story reflects Jan Vincent's work, are you a fan at all?
-ac
Posted by brand new writer Well, I only read one story by him. He's big on f/f incest...and though he's good with the characterization in those stories, incest...yuck...can't stand it, sorry. Started reading one lesbian incest story...had to stop because it made me sick, even though it was well-written. As for my writing style, I write pretty much the way I talk. I don't know how to write at all, really. :-)
Posted by Jackie Alright, this is where i draw the line. Modesty is definitely an issue. Ac, I, and everybody else on this friggin' website know damn well that this woman can write. So dont say "oh, i dont know how." You know just as much as us that you are fucking good.
So, i encourage you to write your ass off. As a matter of fact, keep typing until your fingers are numb. I am waiting for your next story to arrive.
Not to sound wierd or anything as well, but the way she writes makes her sound kind of hot. Now im not trying to sound like a guy here, but sometimes the way people write can really show their true colors. The way you speak, the way your characters act. It all potrays the author. I think everybody on this site has guessed i am a bitch. Trust me, they are right. Although, Brand New Writer seems to be kind of...shy. So, lets all give her a little bit of confidence and say... You fucking rock. Keep writing, or i will cry.
Posted by brand new writer Wow...I'm a little speechless. Thanks Jackie. Okay, it wasn't false modesty...I think I'm okay, I think what I do have is a certain amount of professionalism in that I'm willing to edit and proofread any serious piece repeatedly. Regardless, I don't think I can call myself a bona fide writer for a really long time.
And as for me being hot :-), I look a bit like Nadya in this story (although she's infinitely more femme than me...me being kind of andro/tomboyish). So there ya go...draw your own conclusions.
And as for the shyness...I'll work on it. Really. :-)
Posted by take a wild fucking guess Lol. Your welcome... I dont think i was really accusing you of false modesty... i just thought it was kind of cute, yet irritating how you were all like "i really dont know how to write."
Maybe its because I hate underestimation. Its one of my pet peeves. As for working on your shyness... don't. Be yourself. I'm sure everybody likes you that way. I think shy people are adorable anyways. I must admit i have become a victim of obsessive proofreading. There have been times i have gotten so sick of it that i wouldn't write for days. Just because i knew once i opened word perfect, 75 percent of the time i wouldn't be writing. I would be scanning mistakes, changing this and that. Believe it or not, that is what makes the difference.
I find there is nothing wrong with somebody wanting their work to be good. Whatever your doing is obviously working for you, because your writing is fantastic. If you dont think your a bona fide writer, thats your business. In my eyes, your damn good, and that is all that matters to me.
On the whole drawing conclusions thing, i already have. You know what i think, so i will save myself from making another smart-ass, sarcastic comment. The more i write reviews, the more they seem to build on me. I just wanted to clarify a few things just in case you find me to be a total wierdo, asshole, or some kind of insane pervert. I would possibly call myself weird, but i dont think i fit under the pervert category. Asshole, maybe. Pervert, no. I think i need a little bit more equipment and accessories for that title. Have a nice day. Jackie p.s = Even though i dont know you, my instincts say your hot. Maybe i am wrong, but like i always say, all i need is a little proof.
Posted by much applause for this..... o my god! you wrote I kissed a GIrl and THIS!....i kissed a girl was probably one of the best internet stories i ever read....then came this!....damn....you have an amazing approach to writing your story..and i can see you specialze in first-times...so that's what i am expecting next...also interesting how you incorporated music in your stories... you rock...keep it up
Posted by ac hehe. you two are both legends. seriously. i really do admire you both. It's like you can say who you are and what you are feeling in just a few lines. That takes serious talent. When you get someone like me who is up and down all the time, it's sometimes hard to express what i'm feeling. Also, cuz i actually have a slight thinking disorder (i'm not insane or anything) so sometimes i don't even know what i'm feeling, and to read something like what you guys write helps me to understand alot about other people. Hopefully when my story comes out you'll understand, but i'll say one thing. Only two people in my life have ever loved me. as in, really loved me. Up untill a few years ago i didn't even know what it was like to have someone care. You guys sort of help me translate what i feel for my girl in words. know what i mean? hopefully this will make sense when i release my story. Thanks alot guys.
-ac
p.s, Jackie, if you are a bitch, what the hell does that make me?
lol.
Posted by Hmm.... If i'm a bitch?? I really would not know. A mini bitch? Lol.
I am sorry to hear that only two people have really loved you. I have grown in a hometown where my grandparents, aunts, uncles, ext all live very close by. Family is very important to me. I dont know what i would do without their love and support. But, they are also very cynical and judgemental. That is why they all think i love the penis. Although, maybe that makes the love you do have that much stronger. Never take it for granted. You never know when you might lose somebody. I am flattered to hear you think so highly of me. Your about the only person in the entire world. Lol. I am glad to hear that my writing has helped you so much. It is just a strong hobby of mine that i would like to improve. There are still so many technical problems and spelling errors in my work. I am a perfectionist who struggles for flawless material. I hate to see holes in my writing. And i think i have already begun that process. If you read back to my old stories, and my recent work, there is a huge improvement. I am quite proud to say that. When your story comes out i will be sure to read it. Maybe you can help me put my feelings into words as well. The feelings to my family that i just cant express. Thank you for all your compliments. I am sure brand new writer feels the same. Love, Jackie
Posted by ac thanks hun. you're definitly right, what i went through has made me who i am today. And if it hadn't happened i wouldn't have my girl. Don't get me, i am gratefull for everything life threw at me, cuz i am who i am, and i wouldn't want to be anything else. And me, a mini bitch? lol, that's gotta be the biggest understatement of the year. lol. Do me a favour, please don't feel sorry for me, as i said i am gratefull for life and to be honest, i am just gald i'm not a giggling school girl.
And to new writer- i feel totally the same way about Jan Vincent, i guess the story you read of his was Tenderness, i am totally the same with incest though, can't stand it.
love ac.
Posted by Liz watch you guys banter. whenever they decide to update this damned thing, i can't wait to read the two of you guys' new stories. hey ac- why don't you write one. i know you'd do as well as these guys.
and you're probably all hot anyway. i'll assume you're all gay or at least bi. whatever. peace out. you guys rock.
Posted by I forgot Now where would you get an idea like that? Bi or gay? What? NO! (j/k) On top of that your flattering me here. Hot? Hmm... i doubt it. Yes, i also am getting very tired of waiting for this damn website to update. Last fifteen posted? Ha. Try forty. Anyways, our reviews have turned into one big AOL chat room. So i am gonna peace myself out. Have a nice day. *Jackie* P. S - Have you noticed the author forum? It hasn't changed since like 1996. (Okay, maybe i am exaggerating just a little...)
Posted by ac yo liz- i'm writing my story at this very second, while singing a the top of my voice to Eminem. It's sort of like a biography. I'll give a small sample
-
I pulled my sheet up to my chest, leaving my feet bare. I sighed. Pretty sad when you’re only 5 feet tall. I curled up and tried to sleep. Suddenly, I heard footsteps, stomping up the stairs. My heart began to pound. I licked my lips and took a deep breath. The door flung open and I shut my eyes momentarily.
“You fucking bitch!” My father roared. I looked up at him. His face was purple. He was trembling slightly, with pure rage. He reeked of alcohol and sweat. I quickly sat up. This isn't good.
-
there ya go, that's what to expect.
And by the way, i am most definitly gay. And i probably couldn't write as well as these guys, but i'll give it my all.
And hot? as in good looking? I describe myself in bits and pieces in my story, but i suppose i look allright, i' am an exercise fanatic so i have a good body, and i'm an aussie so i am fairly well tanned, but i got to much 'street' in my looks for most people's liking. Few too many scars i reckon. But most blokes here wont give a sheila a chance unless she's shitfaced and drop dead. And got a triple D chest, of course, lol. Not that i really care what guys think of me. This site is so annoying. And i have noticed the author forum thing as well (i am a registered author, just havn't posted yet) allthough you may be exaggerating a little, lol. Allthough in 1996 i was only 15 and didn't give a damn about anything so i guess i can't really talk.
catch y'all later.
-ac-
Posted by ac hey, out of intrest, what would you prefer, i post it in bits and spit em out fast, or in one super big one in a few weeks or so?
Posted by Liz well, i'd say one big one. just cause the damned thing is updated so infrequently. or try a few really big bits. you know? anyway, ac- that sounds good. eminem??? eeewww.... no offense. i can only stand him in small doses. i'm rockin out to Tori Amos and TATU and i just submitted another godawful autobiographical thing. well, good luck ac. and peace out to all u guys. this is getting fun. PEACE!
Posted by liz haha... and i'm sure new writer must be flattered that we're using her lovely piece as our chat forum. how cute...!
Posted by ac oh yea, definitly. i like tatu (hard not to after their film clip), but i guess i can relate to eminem so much, he's been through shit and can kinda joke about it. i am a serious fan. as his song stan states- 'i even got the underground shit that you did with SCAM.' Yup, i got it and it ROCKS. I also like christina aguleria, if you ever get the chance, listen to her song 'I'm Okay' and you'll fall in love with her too. i am into moderen music definitly- R & B, Rap, Hip-Hop, pop but all the stuff i listen to is kinda more full on then pissy little pop spice girl diva shit. The lyrics are what makes the song and the beat is what tells it. I also play the trumbone and the piano. I play 1st trumbone in an all guys jazz band which is a total blast (don't ask me bout the all guys part, they practiclly begged me to join) and got me a feel for rock, jazz and swing. Also, as an aussie i am very dedicated to my new aussie artists. Watch out you yanks, delta's going to take you by storm. lol. catch yaz all laterz.
P.S- liz, i like your autobiographical stuff, and i am gonna post in one big chunk.
Posted by Liz thanx, ac. but i haven't heard christina's song yet- i guess i will when i get the chance. you're so lucky with the instruments. i don't play a damned thing. my g/f's trying to teach me guitar, but i can't quite get it. well... i gotta go. can't wait to hear your story. peace out.
Posted by Jackie It is a truly wonderful song that i loved the moment i heard it. Her whole entire stripped album is fantastic as a matter of fact. I have developed a very deep liking for C.A. I dont know what type of music you guys listen to, but there is a good song by Nickelback called "Never Again." Also try Evanescence's "My Immortal." I fell in love with the song from the first word. It is awesome and i highly reccomend it. I am not in any way a fan of tatu. Not to be mean, but they seem very fake to me. I know you guys like them, so that is where i will leave it. Playing an instrument is not that bad. I am lead alto sax in a jazz band and love to play tenor. I know a little guitar. I can only play one song though...(lol) (No, its not mary had a little lamb either) This is the last review i am gonna post in here. Lol. I dont want Brand New Writer getting angry because we have used her review section as a chat forum. Mucho Amor Jackie p.s - if any of you guys ever wanna talk, email me and i have an instant messenger name. If i am away, you can always leave me a message.
Posted by Liz yup... ok. same here. idiofreak@yahoo.com. don't ask. although when jackie's new story is up and running we can ravage her review section with chat stuff instead. :)
So peace out!
Lotsa love,
Liz
Posted by ac ok dudes one more from me too then. I can't believe this hasn't been updated, i mean i've been away for like, 4 days. ok it has actually been two BUT STILL! and as for tatu, sure i'm a fan, but to be honest i think that is just cuz they are absolutly gorgeous... well my girlfriend is going to kill me for that. ah well. I've heard that song from Nickelback and loved it and i'll give Evanescence a shot. i am also in love with C.A.'s album, and i too have gained a hell of a lot of respect for her, i'm a biiiiiiiig fan, and it's NOT just because she is hot. lol, that last comment was to my girlfriend by the way, i don't actually care all that much for looks, i couldn't care less really. at this very moment i am contemplating leaving my e-mail. not that i don't trust anyone, it's just that kay set it up for me and used my first name in it to piss me off and i don't know how to change it or get a new one. actually i'll put the fake bot e-mail created with the help of a hacker to confuse hackers cause that's fun on- pword_bot_autoreply@yahoo.com i also got the instant messager so if you send me a message there i'll add you to my real one (ugh, bloody kay, i HATE that name) so we can talk cuz from the very little i know of y'all i reckon y'all (god i sound like a drunk south american) are really awesome and i would love to chat further. omg i just rembered the last time i was chat pals with a chick she ended up claiming to be in love with me a fully started stalking me and it was really freaky. omg i, like, fully sound like a fucking air head cheerleader now so i'm gonna go to bed. actually first i better take a jog to try and burn off the 2 cups of coffee i just drank which is making me sound like a dickhead, every dykes worst nightmare. dunno the time wherever you are but down under it's 12:30am so g'night all, or g'day, or whatever.
Posted by liz hmmm. well, i tried to send one there but i got old Mailer daemon that bit me when i tried to send it. whatever. just email me at idiofreak@yahoo.com with your real email address and we'll take it from there. K?
and don't you love how they "updated" it today???
5 whole new stories from... 2 days of new stuff!!! What the fuck?!
Peace out,
Liz
Posted by ac sigh. ok, i'll do that. and yea i love the updation, it had soooo much point after all. i am really getting pissed at this site. omg i just relised that i have to put my application for uni in today and i don't even know what course i'm doing!!! and i am also late for work now so catch y'azz all laterz-
ac
Posted by Nanayo I read both parts, I just finished this part so I am leaving the review here. More, More more!!
It has been a long time since I have found such a wonderful story on the net. It touches all of the emotions and excitement of women in love. I hope we see allot more from you in the future. You are an exceptional writer!!
Posted by Rachael LeDrew WOW!. That was abosultely amazing. I'm not worthy!, I'm not worthy! I try my best to conjur up passions and intense feelings of love the way you express them in your writing, but your story just blows everything I've ever written right out of the water!! you are abosutely amazing, and for me, a girl poundering whether or not she should come out of the closet your story helped me find out just who I was, and has inspired me to be honest and take action. Screw the narrow minded freaks of society! Long Live Avasa! Thank-you.
Rachael
P.S- please write a part three!
Posted by erin congrats on another amazing story. i didnt post on the i kissed a girl one because i wanted to read this and comment all together. i really enjoyed both of them, mainly because of the story line...even though the love making was very well written. i cant wait to read your next story. and like everyone else writes, great choice in music. im a rock fan also, very much of a tomboy, attending rock/hardcore/metal shows as much as possible.
Posted by brand new writer Wow...they are so lazy about updating the site that I'm thinking maybe I should take my stories elsewhere. (Yes, I'm quite irritated.)
Posted by Bitch On Wheels i am giving them until september 20th. If my stories are not posted by then, i will find another website.
Posted by alex Hello! All stories is reviewed/posted in normal mode.
Sorry for delay, which was be based on my urgent business trip. Best Regards,
aSexStories team
Posted by Aimus Oh.....My...God....
I just wanted to let you know, that i have tears streaming down my cheeks at this exact moment. You're words and your writing have touched my so much i just needed to say, dude, you rock. I'm seriously in the closet with my sexuality and this is helping me SO MUCH to understand a little bit more about myself. Wow, I like, worship the ground you stand upon. And I've gotten some great tips for when I'm in th sheets. Also I just wanted to say that music is my passion in life and i love how you encorporate it in every one of your stories. Never stop writing or i will hunt you down and drop kick you in the head, (i mean that in a friendly way). lol, keep up the good work.
Posted by sabitha & geetha exciting,we are more horny after reading this, we want move down on each other.we need more 69 expresion.
Posted by Sonam I wanted to fucking kill yasir.
This story has made my eyes swell with tears, made me laugh, made me smile, and rethink if i was straight or gay.. posted as sam before my not my real name
Posted by RACH LOVED STORY VERY MUCH ...KEEP WRITEING MORE PLEASE...I FELT LIKE I WAS READING A BOOK AND THAT IMPRESSED ME ....IT SHOWED THAT US LESBIANS AND GAY MEN AND ALL OTHERS HERE IN U.S.A CAN EXPRESS OUR FEELINGS AND I AS A LUCKY ONE MY FAMILY UNDERSTANDS MY LIFE STYLE COMPARE TO OTHER COUNTRIESAS THIS STORY SHOWED OF THE HARDSHIPS OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS GO THREW..SO THANK U FOR A VERY GREAT STORY AND PLEASE MORE