Posted by Tom Great story. I loved every bit of it, even (or should I say: especially...) the brother-sister thing. Keep up this line of work, I'll be looking forward for your next story.
Posted by Don A good story, but it would have been much more erotic if she had not been on the Pill, in this fantasy story.
Posted by Xander You should make a part 2 where she wasnt on the pill like she lied or somethin. Any ways that was great i mean great just wonderful i hope you continue.
Posted by Raven Very well written, nice original pool side drama, blah blah blah. ANYWAY, good job, but I must comment on your characters vocabulary. Withour adding the (") quotation marks it was very hard to understand what each of them were saying. If you do make a sequel, try thatm more people will like the story alot more. ~R.V.