The Endeavour

My focus went to the dancing in front of me. I realized that the current group of dancers were not a part of the village as I had never seen them before. They must be a troupe of travelling entertainers and they were definitely entertaining. They was a story behind their dancing and it was an erotic story. At one point, I wasn’t sure if a couple of them were actually having sex as the others surrounded them. There was one, in particular, that, once I saw her, I couldn‘t look away. 

She was just so young but she danced so lasciviously. Her hands slowly glided over her own body They caressed and clutched and her body swayed and convulsed. She was the embodiment of pure lust. With her head back, eyes closed and tongue licking her lips, her hips pumped onto the man that wasn’t there. For a few moments, I was that man but then she opened her eyes and looked straight into mine. This was no pensive glance or coy flirtation. I was in her trance and she knew it. The light of the blazing fire glistened on her skin and reflected in her dark eyes. The fire seemed to be inside her and I imagined her touch as burning. She couldn’t be as young as she looked. Maybe she was just petite. A better word might be skinny. She had legs so thin that her thighs had probably never met. Her hips were femininely wide and, above that, her body just tapered away. She appeared fragile and barely capable of a deep breath. Her breasts were small but beautifully round and high on her slight chest. At least, from the front, they were round. In profile, they were almost dangerously pointed. I wanted her so badly but my conscience nagged. I had found the forbidden fruit of this paradise but, so far, nothing has been forbidden.

When their dance was over, I continued to watch her hungrily at the side.. She gave me one long look and turned around to disappear into the darkness. I followed her instinctively. I did not think to excuse myself from my host or even think at all. My heart was pounding louder and faster than the drums and my feet led the way. Behind the village, in the silver light of the full moon, my eyes strained into the shadows. Then, a snap of a twig that must have been intentional directed my way. I found her kneeling, like a petite flower, in a grassy clearing amongst the bushes. She smiled at me in a way that was both delicate and knowingly wanton. 

She held up her hand and I was about to take it and join her on the ground when she cupped my groin. I stood there as she fumbled with the buttons and her face just inches away from my growing member. She had probably never dealt with buttons before and by the time she got them undone, I had almost been undone, myself. She stroked it gently at first and then kissed softly. She kissed the tip and along the shaft and then her tongue darted between her lips. She returned to the tip and engulfed it in her mouth. Her hot mouth was such a contrast to the cool night air on my saliva dampened shaft. She sucked me in like an undertow and legs were unsteady from waves of pleasure. I could stand no longer and collapsed to the ground. The girl wasted no time at regaining her lips on me and I grabbed her head in my hands, pushing it deeper. She sucked and rubbed her tongue against me as if she were a calf on an udder. It didn’t take long for me to provide the cream. 

She just kneeled there as I moaned contentedly. I gestured her toward me and she surprised me by sitting on top of me. I wasn’t ready to go again but it wouldn’t take long with that view. I reached up, compelled to touch those amazing tits. I was gentle at first but was overwhelmed with the soft, firm, sensual and practical nature of them. I clenched them and squeezed them together and pinched the nipples until she squealed in pain. I did not intend to hurt her, I just forgot who they belonged to. 

I begged for her absolution with a kiss. I pulled her head toward me and touched my lips to hers. She returned the kiss with passion I had never known. She wasn’t kissing me, she was devouring me. She pressed her entire body against me and her previous feather-like weight made it difficult to breathe. I was being ravished and I liked it. I tugged at what I can only call a scarf that was tied around her waste and grabbed her taut ass. Again, I squeezed and pinched and she groaned but not in pain. She grinded her hips as she continued to molest my tongue with hers. I rubbed a finger into the damp pubic hair and along the folds. When I touched the little bump of her clitoris, she bit my nose. It didnt hurt but it scared me. I pushed my finger inside her and she grabbed onto it and grinded herself up to the knuckle. She gripped my finger so tightly, I wondered how I was going to fit. Her passion was almost overwhelming but it was also inspiring and I was back to being fully inspired.

I pushed her back and undid the buttons on my tunic but could not remove it while lying on my back. I attempted to roll both of us over but she did not go for it. Understandable, the ground was cool and damp but there was no way she was going to be on top. Not today. She kneeled beside me as Í sat up and removed my shirt. She moved to climb over me again but I held her shoulders as I slipped behind her. Apparently, she liked this idea and poised herself for me to enter. I pushed in slowly. I had to, but once in, it fit just right. Enthused by her passion, I pushed hard and fast. Probably too hard. It was hard to tell, her ass was so firm that it would not shake. She was pushed off her knees and, now, those globes of her ass jiggled. Despite her pure animal lust, like Hinano, she was very quiet. I could barely hear her little moans. Unfortunately, I was not as controlled. 

We went our separate ways and I returned to the village to find the festivities winding down. Hinano had disappeared. The chief also departed as soon as I came back. Only a few of the crew were still around but they were well occupied. I was alone and wondered where I was to sleep. 

June 19, 1769

I returned to the fort alone after having spent the night under the stars. Hinano refused to return with me. Obviously she knew and she was hurt. By the end of a long walk, I had redefined many of my notions and presumptions. I had been so wrong. I had done so wrong. They were just so different. Different skin, different beliefs, different ways but the same feelings. I thought of them as less than English and less than human and, still, I fell in love. Perhaps, the heart is quicker than the mind. I almost turned around and walked back to plead for her forgiveness but the captain will be returning soon and we would be leaving. Perhaps, it was for the best. 

June 24, 1769

The return of the Endeavour does not bring the wind back in my own sails as I expected. A chapter ends but the book continues. This time, the captain sets anchor off the point and in plain sight of the fort. The captain, himself, was first to step ashore and he praised me on the fort. Not even that could make me happy. I just thanked him as if the work were meaningless. In the second boat was the astronomer who got busy setting up a telescope and a sextant and other gadgets. This was the real purpose of our voyage, to observe the transit of Venus as it will not happen again in our lifetimes. It will take three weeks and that seemed like a lifetime right now. 

Every day and, especially every night, I was tempted to go see Hinano. They welcomed us because they thought we were to be their allies and our guns would protect them from their enemies. I misled my intentions all the way into her family and was preparing to abandon her.

Mr. Scuggins told me of their travels while they were away. The natives they encountered were not nearly as friendly. They were attacked numerous times and no amount of gesturing would dissuade them. We had already become the allies of their enemies. There were no major casualties among the crew but dozens and maybe hundreds of natives had fallen in front of our guns and cannons. However, they had developed an extensive map of the area. 

“I envy you, I really do”, I told him, “I would have preferred to be in battle than stuck here”.

“I heard that it wasn’t so bad”, he said with a smirk.

“It’s a long way from home”, I answered.

“It’s a fuckin’ paradise. Didn’t you realize that?”, he scoffed.

“Not for me”, I answered cryptically and walked away.

July 10, 1769

I find myself leading a search for two deserters, Mr Gibson and Mr. Webb had decided they preferred this place to their home and, more importantly, their duty. There is a part of me that would wish them good luck and good bye but I have my duty as well. We have two days to find them. After that, the natives are planning another feast and the captain does not intend to let them know it was to be a farewell party. I was relieved to leave discreetly. If I must leave, then I would prefer not to see her beautiful face once more. How could I ask her to forgive me and then depart forever? Actually, there was nothing I wanted more. Almost nothing. Not anything I could do anything about. I am an officer and I must set my obligations above my own desires. 

July 14, 1769

Now under full sail and the island is long out of sight. The two deserters had been captured and disciplined severely. The captain insisted to make them an example. It was odd when we found them because they resisted by shooting at us. There were twenty guns pointed at them and they were likely to be killed but they preferred that to leaving. Had I not dropped my gun and walked out to them to explain that, they would be dead. The danger and the irony of that didn’t occur to me until later. I wasn’t trying to commit suicide. Neither was I trying to be a hero. It’s funny, but when I finally developed some inner clarity, the rest of the world became surreal. The danger just seemed like part of some ridiculous play and I was just an actor.

The original purpose of the voyage had been a failure due to the weather and inadequate equipment but the charting of the area should be considered a success, by itself. Mr. Banks, too, was quite proud of his samples and classifications. Apparently, he had done a lot of work between bottles. I, on the other hand, leave behind an abandoned fort and my innocence. In return, I get guilt and a lightened burden of hope. The crew, like myself, toil in silence, distracted by loss and unsatisfied in memories. We leave paradise behind because we do not belong there and I am still favouring that I should leave this log to the sea.