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: Lesbian_Stories : The Bet 2 - Kiss & Tell - total 23 reviews. 
Reviews 23 :
- read story, Author : BlueEyes101. PS: Reviews num is regularly updated.
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The Bet 2 - Kiss & Tell reviews
Posted by ac
excellent as usual.
i'm very glad you decided to continue, it's a great storyline and brilliantly structed.
slightly confusing since i couldn't remember who was who.
also, your tensing would be alot better if you used past tense, but do whatever you prefer and find easiest.
i reckon tensing can be the hardest thing in writing. i once saw an amazing piece written in future tense, but i have enough problem with normal stufff then to try that.
anyways, as i said before, very nicely done, keep on writting.
Posted by The author
i have always liked writing in present tense the best. It seems like i can really bring out what people are feeling that way.And yes, by far, tensing is most difficult when it comes to writing.
Posted by ac
mmm yeah.
i dunno, i've always sucked at it, so i stick to the one i'm familar with, so reading or writing pieces in different ones confuse me.
lol.
but stick to what you're good at and learn what you're not.
Posted by Liz
ahhhh... Good God can this woman ever write... :)
and i don't see any issues with tense. you stayed consistent, so no problem there. yeah... great... so now i gotta wait for pt 3? jeez...
well, i'll talk 2 u later.
Love,
Liz
ps. AC! how ya doing? how's the woman?
Posted by Jameson
Hi again:
I'm very glad you decided to pick up the story again. I have been eager to see it.
Now, believe me when I say that I can understand how stress can wear one out, and I do hate to say it, but it shows in this installment. It didn't seem to carry the "heart" that the first part had, and, it appears to me that you used song lyrics to just "throw" it together. Please, do not take this as a harsh criticism, for that is most certainly NOT what it's intended to portray; I only wish I could write HALF as well as you do. Maybe I'll get brave enough to post some of my own work here one day.
I wish you and your writing only the greates successes, and look forward to see the continuation; when it is time for you.
With sincere appreciation and deepest respect
Posted by Silky Brown
Your story was good all though not as good as the first one. The song lyrics should go. We already know Rachel sings. We dont need to read other peoples lyrics. Can't wait for the Third Part
Posted by Jackie
Lol.
I guess the lyrics bother people.
Eminem says "music can alter moods and talk to you."
Prime example.
I am using the lyrics to show what Rachel sings because that is a HUGE part of this story. As it unfolds you will see why. The way she talks and the way she speaks through her music are two totally different concepts.
What i am basically trying to say is music brings out the best in her.
I didn't throw lines and lyrics in there to just take up space. Their presence is mandatory and belong there far more than you know.
Thanks for the reviews.
Posted by ac
hey liz, how ya going?
i'm ok, back down to one job and starting uni in a month or two.
which is very good, cuz before i was working 10-4 then 12 am to 4am, which was hard.
so now i'm just doing the night one, and so i'm happy cuz i get to be with my fiancee during the day. so anyway, i'm pretty good at the moment.
talk to you later, ac.
Posted by ac
and about the lyric stuff-
i have to agree with jackie.
using that kinda thing is part of characterization, which is a major part in writing.
Posted by Jameson
Ac:
This is true, but the use of so much of it is a bit distracting and loses some of its impact. I don't object to using lyrics, I just don't believe too much should be used in any one place.
Jackie, again, I did not mean to sound harsh. These are merely my opinions on how I personally perceived the writing in question, and it's your right to know how each reader feels about it. Constructive? It could be, or you could choose to dismiss it. Is there another way you could have conveyed the lyrics (i.e. used bits and pieces instead of two or three stanzas)? Well, that, only you can decide. As I said before, I only hope my writing is half of what yours has been.
As before, with sincere appreciation and deepest respect,
Jameson
Posted by Jackie
I have begun writing the third installment and no lyrics will be posted in the piece.Problem solved.
Posted by ac
jameson:
i agree with you on that. too much can be distracting from the story, but, if used in small doses and used well they can add a huge amount of realism to the story.
Posted by bubble
wow...your stories are great, i just can't wait till the 3rd part comes out. Yay...Love your stories
Posted by liz
hey ac. and i agree with Jackie and AC. So jackie, STOP!!! don't listen to them!!!!
yeah sry i haven't talked w/ you guys. i wuz in the mental hospital for 3 days. just released today. long story.
peace
Posted by Jackie
I am disturbed. Ac left a comment in a different story that really bugged me.Somebody wrote her an email, saying that she should'nt be reviewing stories because she has never posted anything. I have something to say not only to the emailer specifically, but for everybody.
In actuality, this person had NO RIGHT to email YOU, and tell you to NOT comment.
This is a REVIEW section. IT IS FOR REVIEWS FROM THE READERS. Just because you haven't written anything doesn't mean your comments aren't worthy. It simply means you like reading, and maybe writing isn't your thing.
Me, i like to write. That doesn't make me better than anybody else.
People, if you can't handle your reviews, DON'T FUCKING POST. I have said this before, and i will say it again. If you find that you're consistently getting bad reviews, then you need to spend more time on your work. Its plain and it is simple. You have no right to email somebody and give them hell because you didn't like thier opinion.
So, whoever that person is should email me, so i can stick my foot up their ass. That, and every other person who has something to say.
Posted by ac
i agree with you, mostly.
if i have the right to tell someone what i think of their writing, they have the right to tell me what they think of my comments. if i didn't want e-mails, i wouldn't leave my address.
their opinions of me, right or wrong, do have the right to be sent, because i allow it.
if they feel like giving me hell, i'll read it, and delete it, and go to the next e-mail.
but, in a lot of ways, you are completely correct.
the review section is for the readers opinions, and some authors really need to think about the work they post BEFORE they post it, instead of getting peeved when no one likes it.
Posted by josh
this shit sucks
Posted by josh
you all suck
Posted by Jackie
I'm just wondering if the site plans on updating any time soon.
Posted by Felicia
Jackie, you are one of a minute handful of writers that keeps me checking up on this site.
Josh, go get some Ritalin and then try to string more than three words together when bashing a story. At least then it might have some entertainment value.
Posted by DD
This was a most appeasing story. I am glad to see that others approved of it as well. To Ac, I have no problems with people speaking their minds. But it is the blasphemous way in which they say it that drives some people such as myself up the wall. If you don't like a story, I understand. But don't type a flurry of insults or question the author's intelligence or other biased ways that not only disses the story, but the author itself. Stick to the story in general, and give the author tips on improvement if it wasn't that grand. You are allowed to speak your mind. But sounding like a biased asshole doesn't help matters much. Please everyone, try to give contructive critism, not detructive critism.
Posted by ac
don't call me an intelligent person.
and as for manners and sense?
nup.
and i'm NOT in any way shape or form biased.
but yes, i can be an asshole.
and yes, i can be too harsh.
i am simply a reader reviewing a story.
and i'm only likable to those who take the time to like me.
now. i am not in any way putting you down, but i think you are wrong.
if i myself think i've crossed the line and been too harsh, i'll apoligise, no probs.
and have done, in the past.
but there is a difference between being nice and being honest. i say what i think. if i think a story is crap, i'll say it, and if it's worth it, i'll say how to make it better.
this site is for adults. adults should be able to take critism, constructive or not. if they are not prepared to take it like an adult, then they should piss off and not post.
but, something you have said really pisses me off.
you have inferred that i don't REVIEW the story.
that, is bullshit.
in about %95 of my reviews i will say how to improve, whether i say it 'nicely' or not.
in the other %5? the story was simply that bad it wasn't worth it.
if it sounds like a twelve year old that failed fingerpainting in kinder wrote it, i won't bother REVIEWING it. but, if the've obviously tried, i'll review it properly.
so please, if you are going to diss me, do it, but don't beat around the bush.
i can take critism very well, as i grew up with every fault i had pointed out to me every day.
and do not call me biased. i give honest response to anybody and everybody, whether the're polite or not.
Posted by DD
I DID NOT CALL YOU BIASED, thank you very much. Nor did I say to never review again. I will just say it in a nutshell. The way you review may come off as biased to some, aka, me. But I do not think bad of you, ac. I understand that honesty is the best policy, but you can break the truth to someone in a more polite way. Don't think badly of me, i did not come in here calling others names or whatever the case might be. I am stating my opinion. But I do see where you are coming from.
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