The Diary (FF, MF, intr, preg)

When we finished collage, BJ went back east to teach. It wasn't until a number of
years later that I meet him again. He was hired as the Music Director in the school
system where I taught. I ran in to him one early fall afternoon as I was on my way
to the office to turn in my lesson plans for the next week. We talked for a few
moments in the hallway and parted, saying we would see each other later. It was a
couple of weeks before I saw him again. He stuck his head in the door of my
classroom and asked if I would like to meet him at a little off-campus coffee shop
for lunch. 

At lunchtime, I went to the shop across from the school and BJ arrived several
minutes later. He made it look as though it was an accidental meeting, in order to
protect me from snide gossip. We struck up a conversation, talked for a while, then
said our good- byes. 

We went on like this until February of the following year; short secret meetings
with no kissing and no sex, just a close friendship. 

Then in February he came by my room and asked me if I would like a ride home, and
maybe stop for a drink. I knew Jake would be gone so I agreed. I told Karen that I
would see her later that evening for our regular Friday evening date. 

Well, my date with BJ went from drinks to dinner then to a little club he belonged
to. It was a club for blacks with a couple of strippers and jazz music. It was a fun
evening. It was at his club that I smoked my first joint of pot. It made me a little
goofy, laughing at everything BJ said whether it was funny or not. We stayed at the
club until midnight, then he asked me to stop by his place for a nightcap. I agreed
and I will never be able to forget what happened that night. 

When we got to his place I was still feeling the effects of the pot I had smoked.
His town house seemed sexy with its white carpet, log burning fireplace, a little
bar, African-like touches and contemporary furniture. I found it to be very
masculine, with nude art hung on walls painted in dark colors. It was beautifully
done. I asked BJ to help me to his bathroom. 

On the way down the hall he showed me his bedroom. Asking me if I liked it, I got
the impression we would soon be spending some time in it. A huge oil painting of a
naked lady hung over the head of his bed. I suddenly wished it had been a painting
of me hanging there but of course I didn't tell him that. 

When we got back to the living room, BJ lit a fire in the fireplace and fixed us
drinks. We sat on a bearskin rug in front of the fireplace and talked. It wasn't long
before his arm slipped around my waist and he turned my face to his to give me my
first adulterous kiss. I hate to admit it but I responded with growing passion and a
welling desire. I remember shivers running up and down my spine. 

The drink, in conjunction with the pot I had smoked at the club, kicked in. The next
thing I remember is JB bending over me, his huge fingers on the buttons of my
sweater, undoing them and slipping it off my shoulders. I felt his hot breath as he
started kissing my neck, then across me chest from shoulder to shoulder. All the
while he was fondling my breasts though my bra. As he pulled my slip and bra straps
off my shoulders, shivers shot through my body. Leaning down and lifting my face to
his, he smiled at me and said, "I've loved you since we first met, Liz." Then I felt,
for the first time since I had married Jake, the hands of another man cupping my
naked breasts, sending shock waves up and down the length of my body. Bending
forward, he kissed me gently and once again said, "I love you." 

I felt the gentle touch of his hands fondling my body. My lips parted and his tongue
became entwined with mine. We kissed for what seemed an eternity. I didn't want
to leave his lips but he finally pulled his lips away to kiss my hot erect nipples for
the fist time. My heart raced as BJ bent over me. My head lay in his lap and I could
feel his growing erection as he kissed and sucked on my nipples. 

Soon I felt one hand moving slowly up my inner thighs. I spread them slightly at his
touch, welcoming his advance. Slowly, he worked his hand up my legs, reaching the
bare flesh of my upper thighs. He broke off our kiss looking at me and whispered "I
have brought you into my home and, for what will be done here to night, I ask no
mans pardon. 

I looked up into BJ's eyes and brushed his check with my fingertips. I kissed him
and said, "I'm yours for the taking BJ. I love you very much and I need you so
badly." 

With that, my mind went on hiatus. My hand hit my drink glass and cold liquid spilled
over the floor. The mood was broken. 

BJ jumped up and said, "I'll get a towel and clean it up." While he was out of the
room I replaced my bra and slip, then pulled my skirt back down, slipped my sweater
over my shoulders and sat back down to await BJ's return. Sitting there alone in
the glow of the fire, I started feeling like such a Fool! I had just frustrated BJ and
destroyed the excitement and passion that had starting to build between us. 

Returning to the living room BJ refused my offer to clean up the spilled drink.
Finishing the cleaning himself, he took the towel back to the kitchen and returned
to sit down beside me. Neither of us spoke until BJ looked at me and said "Are you
ready for me to take you home?" 

My heart sank, tears filled my eyes and I was at a complete loss as to how to
answer his question. I felt so miserable over the very thought of not being held in
his arms again, or feel the touch of his hands on my body. I had such wonton
feelings swelling inside of me. I felt lustful and indulgent, with such a craving to
touch and kiss his manhood and to feel it penetrate my body. I turned to BJ with
tears filling my eyes. Reaching out to touch him on the cheek, I kissed him and
asked, "Do you really want to take me home?" 

Looking straight at me BJ said, "Baby when a woman puts her clothes back on, it's
normal for a guy to think that she wants to be taken home; that she has no
intention of staying the night." 

I considered his words; it never dawned on me that this simple act would cause such
a problem. I sat quietly for a few minutes, thinking over what he had just said. I
searched for an appropriate way to reply to him without seeming to be some kind of
depraved, submissive female. Yet this is just what I would be, so why not express
my feelings and let him know how I felt? 

I was uncertain about becoming so obviously lustful but finally, taking a deep
breath, I said, "BJ, I guess I want to stay the night with you."