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: First_Time_Stories : She enslaved my innocense - total 3 reviews. 
Reviews 3 :
- read story, Author : John Buckingham. PS: Reviews num is regularly updated.
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She enslaved my innocense reviews
Posted by Jack
Once again short stupid and unbeleivable. What you got your first hard on at 15? And you didn't know what smythe was doing when she sat on your lap? What did you grow up in a cave?
My advice on future stories lenghten them. And just tell it like it might have really felt to a person getting off. Don't try to make junk up about like a 15 year old boy don't know what the hell is going on.
Posted by Whatever
What a Crock.... 15 years old and never had a hard on or didn't know what it was..... hey kid... try to be more realistic. What a waist of time for erotic story.
Posted by virginboy
I thought that this story was OK. I would have to
agree with the other two postings however. There is
no way in hell that a 15 year old teenage guy has
never had an erection. However, to keep the flavor
of this story (that being a nieve 15 year old
seduced by an older woman), you could have described
his background so that it would have been a little
more believable that he may not know why he gets
erections or what exactly sex is. For example, you
could have given him a religious background in a
religious country where he was only homeschooled and
nobody told him about sexuality (because they
believed that it was evil). A background like that
could allow a reader a suspention of disbelief for
you to develop this story.
One other thing that you should look at in regards
to this story. That is the fact that the sex scenes
are a little two quick and brief.
Otherwise, with a few medium-sized adjustments, this
story could be great.
Keep up the good work.
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