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Chapter 6
Deep Sorrow
After my rest I was ready and willing to go again and Diana had fixed me an
appointment to stay with Lady Anne-Marie Morrow. She was a glamorous winsome
blonde whose husband was a Brigadier in France with the 2nd Brigade of the
Household Cavalry. She made no bones about her liking for sex, and I gather that
she had worked with Diana at the windmill theatre before her marriage.
It was my last day in Lady Morrows household when we got an urgent telegram from
Lady Diana to return home to the London house immediately. She was at her London
home and we arrived to find her in tears. She put her arms round me, and said
Tony I have some bad news for you as well. His Lordship and your father and
twenty others of the company were killed on the Somme. Many others were wounded.
We have to return home straightaway, although my mother in law as usual is being
rather awkward.
I later found that The Dowager Lady Amersham was trying to bar Diana from the
big house. She had contacted her husbands’ lawyer in Gloucester to help her, but
he refused, and was getting a court order on behalf of Diana to restrain the old
lady Amersham from attempting to bar Diana.
On the train I reverted to being a boy again, so that I could go straight to my
mother when I returned home to our village. The journey was a strange affair
with none of us in the mood for much conversation. On my return home my mother
was being comforted by Susan from next door, and throughout the village many
people were mourning their loved ones. I later found that the company had been
ordered to carry out a bayonet attack in the face of heavy machine gun fire. It
was a completely suicidal order, but like many of the decisions in that war, the
person who gave the order was never brought to account.
Two days later I reported back to Lady Diana who was in a fighting mood. She had
been harassed by her mother in law the Dowager lady Amersham continually since
her return home, who had been told quite firmly by the lawyer that she had no
right to expel Diana from the house. Diana was the lawful wife of her husband,
and by law she had a legal right to be in the marital home. However, Diana had
as was her legal right, told her mother in law she should remove herself without
delay to the dower house.
It was not possible to hold funerals for the dead, as they had been buried by
the military in France. A week after the news was received, the reading of Lord
Amershams Will was held at the big house. My mother and I were asked to be
present, much to our surprise, and also Susan and her daughter Dora, although at
the time I wondered why we were all required.
The will read by his Solicitor started by Lord Amersham stating quite clearly
that he loved Diana, and had no regrets about marrying her, but that he had been
considering a divorce as a result of pressure from his mother, who wanted him to
marry a lady of quality to produce a suitable heir for the estate and family
name. He stated quite clearly that Diana was his lawful wife, and provision was
made in the will for her upkeep.
He also made some small provision for his mother, although she did have her own
private income and was quite able to look after herself. Then came the big
shock. The lawyer stopped at this point and said “My legal heir, who will also
be the legitimate heir to the title as well as the bulk of the estate, after all
the other provisions of my will have been met is my only son who is known as
Tony Nash. I also have a daughter who is known as Dora Wrack. Both children were
born out of wedlock, and I have made provision for their upkeep since their
birth.
The shock to all was apparent and the dowager lady Amersham had to be helped by
a maid who treated her with smelling salts. After she was recovered the reading
of the will was concluded.
Their was a loud hum of conversation and heads were turned towards me, as I sat
at the back of the room with Dora, and our mothers. I don’t think that I showed
any obvious reaction, as I was in total shock. I felt my mother grip my hand and
I looked up at her face and she was looking down at me to see my reaction. The
thought went through my head that of course she had known that his Lordship had
been my father.
The Solicitor went on reading “Obviously if my son is under the age of 21 on my
death. I would like my mother, my wife lady Diana and his mother Joan, together
with my lawyers to act as trustees until he reaches the age of 21.” I sat their
stunned, not really taking in all the remaining provisions of the will. It
suddenly struck me then that the reason why my mother and Dora’s mother were so
set against Dora and I becoming an item, was because we were half brother and
sister and it would have been incest.
It really hit me when the Lawyer addressed me as His Lordship after the
ceremony, when he got Dora Lady Diana, the lady Dowager and the two mothers
together to decide on an initial meeting. I could see that lady Diana was a
little upset, and kept eying me so I did not wait for anyone to take charge of
the meeting when I spoke up. I said quite boldly. “I want to make this point
before we start. I was not aware of this situation until the will was read. Dora
and I have just found we have a grandmother, but I would like a week for us all
to have a chance to think this thing through properly. Lady Diana has been
running the estate since my father went to war, and as far as I can see she has
been doing a good job. I am sure that Dora and I would like to meet our
grandmother on our own, at some convenient time, and I feel that if we met again
in a weeks time we would all have had a chance to have come to grips with the
new situation.” I think everyone was in shock and to my surprise everyone
immediately agreed to my suggestion.
I took Diana aside afterwards and I said. “Diana, this changes nothing I want
you, and Jammarree to stay and carry on as I have become very fond of you both.”
Diana was almost in tears, I am so sorry Tony for what I have done to you.” I
laughed “Diana you gave me a good education, and helped me to grow up, be
content with that. It is our secret. The only thing I would like you to do for
me personally is to take Dora under your wing, and take her to London on a long
shopping and Theatre trip.”
She had a wonderful time and it helped her to get over the transformation from
servant to Mistress with Diana’s help. I moved my mother and Susan into the Big
House with Dora and on her return from London we both visited our Grandmother
together.
It was never a real success, our Grandmother could not get over the happenings
on her sons death, and there was no real bond which sprang up between us or
Diana. I made it clear to her that she was welcome to become a full part of the
family at any time she wished, but she must respect that Dianna was her Daughter
in Law, that was a stricture too far as far as she was concerned. She also
refused to take an active part as a Trustee of her sons’ estate.

Epilogue
I am sat here now in my study, it is Sept 3rd 1939 and I have just listened to
Neville Chamberlain announce to the country that we are once again at war. I
look across the room at Lady Dianna my wife and I could see the worry in her
eyes. Both our sons are liable to be called up for Military Service before this
war is over, unless they are given reserved occupation status for working the
estate farms.
Jammarree has just come in with a tray of Coffee and I can see that she too is
worried. I have two sons by her and a daughter as well. After the estate was
settled, and as soon as I was able I married Dianna, after convincing my mother
of her suitability. Dianna agreed that I could not officially marry Jammarree
but of course she agreed that we would still act as though we were married. We
are a happy
Family, but few people know of our quite unusual relationship.
The End
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