Posted by nobody erm it waz cool nice story and good job peace out
Posted by Powerone It was alright but it could of been a bit longer. I kind've got bored with the beginning and you could've described the sex better. 6outta10
Posted by Angel Lynn Yeah....I know. I realize that I coulda been more descriptive but I'm still kinda new at writing these stories. I see that you are the most popular writer on here so maybe you can give me some tips?
Posted by freewolf I have little writing talent at all but I read quite a bit and this is one of the best stories I have read. Yeah the sex could have been moredescriptive but I didnt mind the begining at all. I think a littel background story leading up to the sex just creates anticipation and makes it more interesting. I really hate the stories where they just go straight to the sex. I gave it a 10.