Rick & Kobe reviews
Well i think that you should use a little more punctuation. I felt like i was reading one big sentence! use some periods every once in while. you would be surprised at how much it effects the story.
The sentence structure was horrible. There was nothing but one run-on sentence after another. I couldn't get into the context of the story becuase of the lack of grammar and sentence stucture.
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Alan already knew the drill, it was more or less the same script, different props or positions each night. Alan stayed perfectly still while Ted violently probed his asshole, sticking in more fingers at will and shoving them deeper on whim... |
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