Posted by LucOuarm Verb tense shifts. Punctuation errors. Spelling mistakes. Awkward phrases. How about some time with a grammar book before you try again? Otherwise, a good idea and a fair first story.
Posted by SEVERUSMAX This is the 2nd best kind of threesome, and certainly hot in its own right. I still prefer 2 girls and a guy, but this is nice as well!
Posted by Princess Very nice threesome story. Enjoyed by many of this household. Unique with a bit of ting to it. Nice Work!
Posted by bethann severusmax is right taking 2 guys is the sexiest thing yet.