The Locum Priest

Chapter 4
Zeeta’s Swansong

We had just finished showering when Megan arrived and she must have heard Zeeta’s last remark.

“I thought we made it clear on Sunday what our position was.” Megan said angrily. “The Rev Small body - I thought he had been retired.”

Zeeta said “Yes but they are so short of experienced priests so he has been called out of retirement.”

Megan was obviously angry. “I think it is about time that we involved the Church council in all this don’t you?”

Zeeta and I listened to Megan angrily talking on the telephone downstairs. After dinner I ran Zeeta home, and it was quite late when I returned to the Manse. Meanwhile the Church Council had convened an emergency session, in the lounge. I did not go in to interrupt but went to my desk in the bedroom and filled in the two application forms for the teaching jobs.

I had just finished when I heard loud voices from downstairs. Descending the stairs I came face to face with the arrogant and loud mouthed Rev Smallbody and his sickly looking wife Sybil. The chairman of the Church Council who was also a Solicitor was facing the Rev Smallbody very red faced who was saying.

“You can not have the Church Council meetings in my home, you should use the schoolroom. That policy has to stop immediately.”

I was beginning to get very angry . I had not met this gentleman before and I said.
“Sir I am the incumbent priest here until the Bishop informs me differently, and this is therefore my home, the meeting will continue until it is finished.”

Meanwhile his wife had been going round making notes about the furniture and fittings. Then she said to her husband.

“Darling I think that we will keep this room as it is I like this……….”

“All the fittings and furniture in this house belong to me personally. The church furniture is very old and dilapidated and is stored in the garage at the back of the house, and I have all the receipts for all this furniture.” Megan said with a big smile on her face.

I turned to the Rev Smallbody and said “Please leave immediately or I shall be forced to call the police you are trespassing.”

After they had gone Megan turned to me her eyes full of tears.” That man will ruin this Parish and all the work that you and Richard have done. What do we do now?”

Just then the Chairman of the Church council came out of the lounge. The meeting has finished and I will be in touch with the Bishop tomorrow. The Rev Smallbody so annoyed everyone that we came to a unanimous agreement asking the Bishop to appoint you as the permanent vicar, and of course our beloved Megan I understand is to be your wife. However, we can only remonstrate with the Bishop so I should apply for those jobs any way .”

Megan turned to me and said “Come on darling lets go to bed together I feel married already.” In the bedroom Anne turned to me and I could see she was a little angry.
”Did you fuck Tracy today Tony?
“No she wanted me to. But I thought about you and walked out.”
Then you must have fucked Zeeta didn’t you, and now you want me I suppose, and you told me that you love me and want to marry me?
“I do, but I am only human and she knows it will never happen again - it was sort of a goodbye session.”
“If we go to bed together from now on, as far as I am concerned we are married” Megan said. “The ceremony can happen as soon as we feel ready, so no more affairs. As far as I am concerned a registry office will do me.”

The following morning I drove to see my old boss Canon Marsh with my resignation in my hand . He read the letter and looked up at me. I told him about my conversation with the Bishop the previous Sunday and the invasion by the Rev Smallbody the previous evening.

“Last night finished me Rev - how can the church be so insensitive as to evict a wife less than two weeks after her husbands death, and treat me so badly. This is not the sort of Christian attitude that I have come to expect from the church.

”Is there no way I can get you to change your mind” Canon Marsh asked quietly.
“I am afraid not Sir. We are leaving straight away and we are moving the furniture into storage and moving in with Megan’s parents. Although it will be a bit of a crush.”

“How about next Sundays Services?
“I doubt whether there will be many there, as the Church Council has resigned en -masse as your Rev Smallbody upset them all rather badly last evening with his appalling rudeness.” I said as I handed him there letter of resignation
“I asked them to stay on as I do not want to see everything collapse, and I even offered to take the services next Sunday even though I will not then be the Parish Priest, but they proposed locking the church and moving to one of the adjoining parishes. A lot of them are moving to the local Methodist Church which has become a lot more popular recently with their new Minister.

Canon marsh stood up - he was angry . He tore up my letter of resignation.
“You are not resigning my lad I am going to see the Bishop now I want action.”
“You will have to be quick sir, we expect the furniture van at 10.00 am tomorrow morning.”
“Furniture can be brought back if necessary, but you are going anywhere .”

It was later that afternoon that the Bishop and Canon Marsh arrived accompanied by quite an attractive young woman who they introduced as Deaconess Sarah Wright . The Bishop apologised profusely for the behaviour of the Rev Smallbody. ‘

“I took on board what was said after the funeral, and I had sent a letter to the Rev Smallbody cancelling the previous arrangement. In any case I had previously told him that I would let him know when he would take over, and he obviously jumped the gun or has not received the letter. I want you to stay on Tony and I have sent young Sarah here to help you, especially as you are proposing to marry. Obviously your stipend will have to be adjusted with immediate effect.

I looked across at Megan and raised my eyebrows. “Its up to you Tony dear , but I want a family and I am going to go teaching to earn some money, but I will support you in every way if you decide to take the Bishops offer, after all you will soon officially be my husband..”

I told the Bishop that I would accept his offer, and asked him if he could marry Megan and myself as soon as possible.?

THE END