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Category: Adult Humor

Author: kehrim

Any parent who tries to teach their children about sex by telling them about the birds and the bees is likely to put them off sex for life! Every girl thinks she would like to be Queen Bee until she learns that they are just egg laying machines, No boy wants to be a drone and be killed off after one flight (and one fuck if he's lucky) by suicidal, workaholic neuters before he even gets back home. Birds are another thing entirely, Take ducks for instance, or drakes I should say. They have the most curious cocks you can imagine (See my story "At the Duck Pond for more info.) while cocks, of the cock-a-doodle-doo variety, don't appear to have a cock at all, despite all their strutting. Don't ask me how they do it, ask one yourself:
"Hiya cock, how d'ya' do it?"
"Fuck off, I'm busy !"
"No need for that! I only arkst."
It's even hard to see what a chick is although a chicken sexer can sort 'em at a rate of three a second:
An old chicken sexer from Deal
Said "I don't have see I just feel,
I either feel feel balls or nothing at alls"
Said the blind chicken sexer from Deal.

2019 Kehrim, Copyright. RIGHT !

Being how I am,I'm very familiar with cocks. Not just my own but lots of others, On the whole, they are much of a muchness, 'though they do come in different sizes from little to whopper, but you can't properly judge in their normal, shy, floppy state, they need to stand up proudly to be adjudicated. My late wife and I used to play a little game when we were on the beach doing our nudist thing.We had a code to categorize men's cocks : Zero: no comment; Minus 1: Not much: minus 2 , Where is it?:Plus 1, Nice one: Plus 2, OH MY GOD !!
Plus 2's are a rare breed but good for speculating on their practicability. Would it hurt, choke, etc. My wife with her great experience reckoned they would be a perfect fit and could she please try it ? (See my story: My Honeymoon in Paris. That was a real whopper !!) My thoughts were that it could either choke me to death or do my ass some permanent damage. She said that I was a plus 1. Frankly, I think she just said that to be nice to me.

Cunts, however, are a different matter entirely. First of all, unlike cocks, which are there for anybody to see, cunts are usually tucked away out of sight, hidden behind a furry bush. Men have usually seen more cunts than women have seen, unless they happen to be lesbian. How many women actually know their cunts look like?
Cunts are also very complicated with lots of folds, flaps and holes and even a little button, known inaccurately as a clit. It should be called the glans clitoris (with hood), because most of the clitoris is hidden away inside and is quite big and complicated,
like just about everything else about women and cunts. Cunts are well worth studying and exploring in detail. I've done quite a bit of it my time although I'm certainly no gynecologist ! They feel nice, smooth and juicy with the odd little bumps and nobbles and smell a bit and taste quite nice. Some are nice, little, pink, sweet things, with tight little holes (vaginas), while others are big, purple, pulsing, wonderful affairs that one can spend hours getting thoroughly lost in, washed in warm smelly slime ! And there are every variation between the two extremes. Although cocks are good to play with, cunts beat them hands down, if you get my meaning. When cocks and cunts really get together then there is nothing to compare with it. I know. I've tried every thing else. believe me, I know !
Happy cunting !